Genius In Progress

A couple of weeks ago, the topic of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator came up in a conversation with some friends. We were talking about what types we were and what it meant. I had taken the test once or twice before but didn’t remember my results, so today I decided to dig around to find it myself. For those of you unfamiliar with Myers-Briggs and too lazy to click the link above, it’s a personality typing system based on four dichotomous categories : Introvert/Extrovert, Sensing/Intuition, Thinking/Feeling, and Judging/Perceiving. Generally these are determined by answering a series of questions (ranging from 40 questions to 40 pages of questions, depending on which test is used) to help fit each person into a group.

Anyhow, I found the papers from when I took one of the more lengthy tests in college, and I also took the test online, in in both cases I came out as INTJ (Introverrted iNtuitive Thinking Judging). According to the online test, I am a moderately expressed introvert, a moderately expressed intuitive personality,
a slightly expressed thinking personality and a very expressed judging personality. You can find lots of places online that will describe what exactly each personality type usually equates to. I like a decent amount of what this description of INTJ has to say.
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Watching TV this afternoon, I saw a movie that reminded me of what I consider to be quite possibly the saddest movie scene of all time. Yes ladies and gentlemen, you might not suppose I watch those sorts of movies, but I do. The award goes to… drumroll please… Star Trek: Generations. The scene involves the Enterprise NCC-1701-D’s final flight. The warp core goes critical because of those darn Klingons (with the help of Soran), so they seperate the saucer section of the ship just as the other half explodes. The shockwave then sends the saucer section crashing to the planet, ending the reign of the coolest starship ever.

*sniffle* Anyway, I just wanted that stated for the record.

My life is good. Sometimes, one might even call it awesome. I am blessed with wonderful family, good friends, good job, and a plethora of other things I don’t even notice. But sometimes, particularly late at night, Satan has this way of getting in to my head and telling me it’s not so. He whispers these little thoughts about how the grass is greener on the other side, and life is better for my neighbor (hmmm, sounds like a though that those stone tablets warned me about), or my friend, or enemy, or whatever.

And if I’m not careful, I actually start listening to that voice. In fact, I’ve come quite close to writing many a blog entry about that subject. I tend to analyze things a lot, and think about things a lot and I don’t always come to positive conclusions on life.

Thankfully, every time in the last couple weeks that I have had these thoughts, God has helped me out. Most times, I’m not even smart enough to catch on to what’s happening and ask Him for help, but the cool thing is, He does anyway. And just when I am about to post a whiny, self-pitying, woe-is-me blog, email, or even if I am just thinking to myself, God busts in and reminds me of what the score really is. Then suddenly those dark thoughts seem pretty ridiculous.

So, like I said… I have an awesome family, awesome friends, awesome etc… there are some things I regret, people in numerous categories of my life that I probably should have handled things differently with, or should still be handling things differently, but I have faith God will work it out. I pray that He gives me the wisdom to act properly and to His glory in every situation I am in.

In the meantime, you all rock. Have a wonderful holiday season. My sincere love goes out to you (there a couple people in particular that that statement applies to, who may not realize it). Praise God.

Life is a complicated thing. In the day-to-day happenings of life there are so many people to take into consideration. Some are direct, some are not. Certain arenas of society and modes of interaction beg more complication than others, and certain types of people induce a more cautious nature. At times this can be somewhat trying.

I firmly believe that honesty is the best policy, but sometimes the truth is not the most pleasant option, and perhaps not necessarily essential to a situation. Also, when does failing to disclose information cross the line between omittance and lie? Wouldn’t it be great if we could all just be strong enough in ourselves, and confident enough in the goodness of others to just state how things are, what we think, what we feel, not in an offensive or affronting way, but just as an honest statement of truth? Facts, opinions, emotions would be out there, to do with what is needed. No more worrying over things unknown, or harm over things misspoken.

Granted, this will never happen. People have feeling, people have mean opinions, insecurities, misinterpretations, agendas, alterior motives. Every time you share something personal, you can’t just share it, you have to analyze it… how will it affect me, how will it affect them, does it really need to be said. At least, that’s what goes through my mind. I always try to analyze what I say before saying it, presuming it is something of actual merit and not just a quip. Sometimes I wish I could just say things and get them over with, but sadly, such is not my style.

And so life continues… I will deliberate every sentence, analyze every statement I make, and hope that I don’t hurt, upset, annoy (well, at least unintentionally), pester, tweak, inconvenience or otherwise exasperate anyone. I won’t even post an entry about it, for fear that one of the 2 people a month who wander by might be someone who it pertains too. So, instead, I turn inward, to play the conversations out to myself alone, various thoughs bouncing around never to be heard by another. At least it’s not boring.

Since I had to delete more spammer comments, it caused the main page to rebuild and suddenly it was very empy-looking with no posts on it, so I figured I should write something. More fodder for the evil blog-spam nazis, I suppose. Well, I suppose if they are too stupid to do anything else, they can spend their days posting comment spam. It seems like it could be a fufilling life, perhaps. Well, as much as I want to fufill someone else’s life, they can all go spam someone else. I officially declare war on the brainless yahoos. I will occasionally jab at them with sad attempts at wit and insult at their expense, and before too long they shall feel the pain of the repeated insults and change their ways.

Hehe, joke’s on them anyway…. I don’t lead an exciting enough life for anyone to read this, so all they do is waste a couple seconds posts. Ah well, good riddance.

Oh yeah, and I will possibly post about my cool trip down to Florida at some point, but I’m being introspective right now, so it will have to wait for another time.

Beauty \Beau"ty\, n.
     1. An assemblage or graces or properties pleasing to the eye,
        the ear, the intellect, the [ae]sthetic faculty, or the
        moral sense.

              The production of beauty by a multiplicity of
              symmetrical parts uniting in a consistent whole.
                                                    --Wordsworth.

              The old definition of beauty, in the Roman school,
              was, ``multitude in unity;'' and there is no doubt
              that such is the principle of beauty. --Coleridge.

     2. A particular grace, feature, ornament, or excellence;
        anything beautiful; as, the beauties of nature.

(source Webster’s Revised Unabridged Dictionary)

I happen to like these defintions of beauty, because they sum up more the essence of true beauty. The word does not imply a skin-deep aesthetic quality as the definition, rather that can be one of the components. Beauty is defined by a “multitude of unity”, a group of characteristics together in harmony.

The most beautiful people I have seen have not been made beautiful by their looks. Physical appearance can be a contributing factor, but I believe physical beauty to some extent is just an outward manifestation of real beauty. People are beautiful because of who they are; a smile; a laugh; a twinkle in the eye; a self-assuredness and a comfort with who they are. People who know themselves, who know the joy of life, and the joy of living, they exude a certain feeling. You can look at those people and see that they are thrilled to be exactly who they are and exactly where they are.

I have the pleasure of knowing people like this, and I wish more people could understand this. The sheer joy of living, of being exactly who you are, is so much more attractive than any amount of perfume, makeup and expensive clothing. If we as individuals and as a society placed a little more stock in this, and less in encouraging everyone to look like the latest model, methinks the world would be a happier place.

Today is Monday, and being Monday, things are going wrong and I am in a less than chipper mood. At lunch, as I waited in line for the U-Scan behind some idiot with 40 items and what appeared to be lifetime spent so far with the only definition of “button” being “the thing that holds your clothing together” (rather than, oh say, the thing you push), I sat there grumbling to myself in my head, thinking “Why oh why did I have to pick the lane behind the dumb lady.” In that horribly human fashion, I then began to formulate my opinions about this person whom I have never met, spoken to, or otherwise interacted with in any way shape or form, other than being so horribly inconvencienced as to have to spend 1.5 minutes waiting in line behind her as she tried to shove 3 bills in to the bill slot at almost the same time. And much to my shame, they were not positive uplifting opinions.

But then, as she finished up and picked up her bags, she turned to me and smiled and made some minor comment about being glad she finally figured out how to use it. And in that little quick little comment, she changed from “that idiot in front of me holding up the line for us real people who need to get stuff done” into a person. She was just trying to get through the line, same as the next person. She didn’t harbor some secret wish to slow down aisle 3 of the Jackson Rd. Meijer by not knowing how to work a U-Scan. She was just buying groceries. Chances are good that she’s a wonderful person, probably with a husband and a couple of kids who love her like crazy. Most important of all though, God loves her. But I didn’t see that standing in line. I automatically jumped to the bad.

My question is, why didn’t I see that? Why is it so easy for us to overlook the positive aspects of life, of people, and automatically assume the bad? Does it make us feel better thinking “that person” is an idiot, inconveniencing wonderful us? Next time I feel myself thinking that, I’m going to stop for a second, and try and see what Jesus knows about that person. He obviously has a plan for that person… who am I to judge differently? So hopefully next time I am behind you in the grocery store and you try to pay for your 151 items costing $430 with a bag of pennies, I will be able to smile and see the humor in it.